This one goes out to all those lost socks out there. You know which ones you are. The aloe vera-infused socks I paid $6 for that winter when I thought I was going to die from a head cold, or those striped knee socks I used for slip slidin’ Risky Business-style around my kitchen, or even that one pair of white socks I used to workout all of two times last year.

Lost socks are part of life, whether you want to blame your messy roommate whose aroma from their room always faintly reminds you of that guy who came to all your freshman classes in pajama pants (you know that guy) or if you just want to admit defeat and buy another pair. As a talented lost-sock-finder and general sock enthusiast, I’ve decided to unleash my three go-to tricks when it comes to finding those pesky lost socks and turning that one lonely sock into a useful device you can’t live without–all in lieu of Lost Sock Memorial Day (yes, it’s a thing!).

Momentary freedom
Chances are your house is a mess, right? And who is going to cook beef stew for you and rub your aching feet and, here’s the kicker, ask for nothing in return? Why, house elves, dear muggle! With their helpful slav..err I mean, service we get twice as much cooking and cleaning done without any of the work. But alas, while you were working this whole time, your house elf has decided to grubbily steal all your socks in hopes of you presenting them with a piece of clothing and thus accidentally setting it free. What an ungrateful little creature.

Where to look: Check in between books, underneath your pillow and even in the fridge. Don’t fall for their trickery and when you do find one of their hidden gems, make sure to look your elf in the eye as you ball up their hopes and dreams.

All hail dryer god
It’s not a surprise that the old tale of your dryer eating your socks is true. To the unsuspecting observer it seems as if your dryer is another reliable appliance. However, you couldn’t be more wrong. Your dryer feasts on socks. In fact, socks are your dryers only source of nourishment. Take those solo socks away and your dryer will cease to dry. But now that you know your dryer is, indeed, eating all your socks, a simple act of asking for your socks back will set your lone rangers free.

Where to look: The dryer god is fickle, so I wouldn’t suggest just demanding your socks back. Start small and ask politely. Also, clean the lint trap.

Quarter for your thoughts
Lost sock victims: we’ve found a use for the lonely sock. When I can’t find its match (sigh..), I carry around a sock full of quarters–just in case. My trusty sidekick serves a couple of purposes. Say my debit card is rejected at the bar for the third time, my socky pal provides me with an alternate form of payment. Even better, if I do end up getting bombarded by an unfriendly civilian on my walk home, a simple sling of my sock full of quarters will enable me to make a quick getaway and do some damage to my assailant in the process.

Where to look: Check your usual route home from the nearest bar. Most likely you’ll find your precious sock…maybe with a few quarters missing but hey, at least you found it!

No socks were harmed in the making of this post.

Aubrie is SweetJack’s easygoing editorial assistant. A GCSU alum and Harry Potter aficionado, she enjoys graphic design, photography and stalking the pages of Gawker on a daily basis.